Just when i made up my mind to forget him for good and move on,
He stands at the door of my heart and gives me his charming smile, waiting for me to let him in.
Just when i gather enough courage to open up and tell him everything,
all the doors seemed to have slammed shut again.
Not that i expected anything out of wat i was going to tell him,
"better said than never at all" they say.
Not that i was confident of getting a positive answer from him anyways,
he might just claim his feelings as childish crushes and jokes and walk away.
It wasnt easy for me all these years, though i doubt this is wat they call as love, but it has to be something if it has lasted this long.. right?
It wasnt easy for me to muster up the courage to even make up my mind that i'm going to tell him.
It isnt going to be easy for me to face him if/when he says he doesnt feel the same way.
But i knew i had to do it... for my own sake.
But now its all dead and burried 6 feet deep under,
all because of some suspicion which might be true, or might not be true at all.
Now it's all over... but i dont know if it's over for good or not.
I wish it didnt have to end this way.
I wish God didnt plays games with me all this while.
Everytime i decide to walk forward without him, he stands in the way and makes me melt.
Everytime i tell myself " this is meant to be", things doesnt seem that way.
Now wat Lord?
Wat do i do?
If You promise not to show him up in front of me right the minute i set my mind to forget him.
If You promise to make him behave and not make my knees go weak.
If we are not meant to be.
But i cant stop thinking about wats running in his head...
i cant stop thinking y he gives me special attention compared to d other girls...
i cant stop thinking y he's so obviously being so nice to me at times...
i cant stop thiking about how emotional he got when he heard i was leaving that day...
i cant stop thinking about how happy he was when i was back...
i wonder if i've grown immune to You, because of my overwhelming thougts
I'm waiting to listen to Your voice Lord..... not my own