i feel like i've missed a lot all these years.. like i do today

this is a very spontaneous post. i never even thought about things like this before...






In my quarter of a century of lifetime... never have i ever felt missing out on something being the only child. but today i do.


almost all my friends in malaysia have siblings... infact ALL of them had/have siblings... i was d only one who didnt. most of my friends in india have siblings and it didnt bother me. at that time, i felt having a sibling was not all that important. (even now i dont think its all that important).


even when i used to go to India for holidays every year ( all the members from my mum's side of the family was there... now most of them are all around the world.. just like my dad's side of the family), i never really felt like i've been missing out in the sibling thing. all my mum's siblings are very closely attached and the love they have for each other is so obvious even when they are talking about them to ppl not in the family.


like, one of my aunt would say. "my (my mum's name) is coming to india next week. my chumi always insists on coming to india for her school holidays". another aunt would say, " our (my mum's name) is bbla..bla..bla.... ". everytime they talk about us or each other, they never fail to mention 'my' or 'our'.


many ppl have been shocked when they learn that i'm d only child and i dont have any brothers or sisters, and i've always wondered y they give such drastic reactions. i've always never been bothered. cos i dont know how i'm supposed to feel when i have a sibling n when i dont.



because of the ppl i see around me, i usually feel blessed to be the only child. cos there wasnt any ncecessity to fight for things, fight for attention, fight for rights, fight for tv, fight for the loo, fight for phone, fight for chocolates and ice cream, fight for this, fight for that.... (thats wat i see most of the time around me) there are times, like once in the bluest moon, when i feel like i've missed out by not having a sibling.( just for d feel of it i guess...it never bothered me more than a few seconds anyways)



The main reason for my rambling about siblings is that today, i was reading MM's blog, whom i've never met, never seen, dont know where she lives, dont know what she does... she's basically a stranger to me and so am i to her. i came across her blog through some other article (which i dont remember now). i was killing time by reading some of her old posts...


i came across some post in which she wrote about her children. some had pics, some didnt, some had funny comments, some didnt. but all of them meant one thing. the love that the young children had for each other. Nevermind about the love that MM has for her. every mother will... it's this tiny little children's love that amazes me.


i dont even remember how old d children are. i think d little boy is 4 or 5, and the little girl is 3.. couldnt be more than that i guess. but the love that they have for each other is like "WOW". there were some posts when her children were much younger....i think it was last year, in which she mentioned that d small one never find any fault in her elder bro n d bro goes to any extend to pacify and pamper d sister. this wasnt the only one... there were so many other posts about her children throughout the years....



many of it made me realize wat i've been missing in a sibling. at first i thought i could have ended up like my cousins or friends.. fighting n arguing all the time. but i later realized that i'm not like that. i have so much of love in me that i want to share with a lot of ppl around me, with my immediate family, extended family, friends.... i realized that i could have been that little girl and i could have had an elder bro like MM's son, or probably i could have had a younger brother or sis.



while i was reading her blog.... i thought of how her children would feel if/when they come across her blog when they grew up. her love for her family was recorded every other day. it's like a gift of memories for them. it was such a nice thing


somehow, we humans always remember the sad/bad things that has happened in our lives. i can remember a lot of sad things in my life as if it happened yesterday, but when i try to recall some things that really mean a lot to me and has changed my life for the better... i cant. it's a completely different feeling when u can recall every good/nice incidence that has happened in ur life.



MM's blog has inspired me to continue bloggin for many more years to come. when i'm old and grey, i'd really love to read though my (undecided, ever shifting and interupted ) blog and be refreshed with all the memories that i've had. and i'll want my children to know how it was for them while they were growing up.



and MM's children have inspired me to have more than one child .... ( that will be when i finally get a boyfriend and get married to him )